On Football and Loyalty Oaths

Loyalty. We hear a lot about it these days, but to us it often seems like a one-way street. The store, the cable company, the politician, they all want your loyalty but don’t show you much of the same in return. This particular comic came from a trip John made to his local CVS. Being the good and loyal CVS customer that he is, the cashier asked him if he had a CVS loyalty card and the answer was yes, he did. Upon showing the card in question the cashier went on to tell him about the CVS CarePass Card, an even better way to show your loyalty. It came with a host of mouthwatering benefits like having your prescriptions delivered straight to your home. All for the low, low price of ONLY $5.00 per month (or the even LOWER price of $48 if you sign up for the year). The point is, there’s always something better out there, and you don’t have it. Now John and I didn’t spend over 70 combined years in advertising to see what’s really going on at CVS. Seems like there’s this little competitor out there called Amazon Prime, who coincidentally offers free shipping straight to your door for the low, low price of ONLY $119 per year! It’s a steal!! Or how about American Express. Got an Amex Gold? Well good for you, here’s a Platinum. But wait, there’s an even better one. Amex Black, for only $10,000 per year you can have so many benefits like first dibs on tickets to the next Ariana Grande concert. Who could resist that? And what about the airlines? If you are a loyal frequent flyer you get priority boarding. Which sounds great on paper until you realize you come after the 67 other groups that have more priority than you do. You know how to avoid all that? Just pony up an extra $1,000 or 2 to fly first class. I hear that even comes with pillows and blankets. Now that’s loyal. By the way, the final frame and joke on our drug store comic was a none-too-subtle shout-out to our friends at American Express.

And that brings us to the guy’s weekend. You could not have had 4 more exciting football games in one weekend. The final Sunday game between Kansas City and Buffalo is being called the greatest game ever played. I always look forward to that particular weekend every year. I used to watch with my son when he still lived at home, then later flew out to meet him wherever he happened to be living. But this year, with Covid and all, I thought I’d do something at home. Just like the comic said, my wife went to visit our kids and grandchild, knowing I’d be glued to the set. After making a bunch of calls, I ended up with a massive pot of chili and one friend to help eat it. When my wife came back we managed to kill it off over the course of a couple dinners, but c’mon. The excuses! Plans with children, grandchildren, shopping, weekend retreats, what is this world coming to? Everything is so complicated. Take the case of John, who dutifully recorded the KC-Buffalo game before going out. He came back and watched the whole thing before realizing it was the AFC Championship game from last year. Ooops. Fortunately, he got over it in time to see the end of this year’s game. And that my friends, is a wrap.

See you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John

Watching the Big Screen 4/9/21

Here’s another problem with getting old. Whining about the fact that things ain’t like they used to be. This observation is always followed by the phrase “these days.” Examples: “Politics is too partisan these days.” “You have to be so careful about what you say these days.” And, relating to our March Madness comic, “College basketball is too much like the pros these days.” As John and I were talking about the NCAA Tournament which ended Monday night (it was really over in the first ten minutes, it just lasted until the final buzzer at which point nobody was watching except for people who attended Baylor) we remarked that the only thing amateur about college hoops is when you see the players reduced to tears when their team finally loses. Then we thought that the truly great players play only one season of college before turning pro, so just how sad are they? They are about to earn unfathomable riches. And yeah, it sucks that old (fill in your alma mater here) lost, but the hell with it, I’m going to the Oklahoma City Thunder!

The other comic this week (not as timely as March Madness) deals with the phenomenon we are all experiencing in real time. A few months ago, one of the major studios decided to release all its upcoming movies to theaters and to HBO Max at the exact same time. This means no more exclusive runs at the movie theater. First of all, what is HBO Max anyway? I already pay for HBO, now I have to pay MORE for Max???? But the point is, that there are fewer and fewer reasons to go to a movie theater and we will be streaming more and more movies in the comfort of our own homes. I must admit I used to like the movie theater experience. The audience shrieks at a scary movie or laughter at a comedy is infectious. There’s surround-sound, DOLBY digital and IMAX. But now the audience is infectious as well. And if you’re on the short side like me, there’s always a 6-footer who decides to sit right in front of you. And let’s face it, the popcorn sucks, unless you go to the Alamo Drafthouse. So we had Al and Joanne recreate the experience at home without going into one of the discussions I have with my wife around home movie watching: do you pour the raisinets straight into the popcorn bowl, or eat them separately.

One final personal note. John and I write about what it’s like to navigate your 60’s because we like to write about what we know. However, we’ve written about being grandparents without personally knowing what that’s like. I am proud to say as of Tuesday night, I now know what that’s like. My daughter Ali and her husband Mark had their first child Charlotte Tuesday around 10pm. My wife Joanie and I are now first time grandparents. And it couldn’t be sweeter.

See you next week with two new ones — comics, not grandchildren.

Andy and John

Getting in Shape 11/13/2020

Happy Friday the 13th. You know, there’s all different kinds of getting in shape. You could be in shape for running a marathon, but that does not get you in shape for bringing up a new baby. You could be in shape for being a college student, partying all night and still managing to go to class the next day, while staying up all night the next night studying to pass the test you’re about to take the day after that. That’s one kind of shape. But it doesn’t prepare you for the kind of shape you have to be in to commute while working a full-time job. And that doesn’t prepare you for the kind of shape you have to be in to work a full-time job while being a new parent. Suddenly those mid-week all-night parties are a thing of the past, or else you too will be a thing of the past. At least at work. So Al, in our first comic, preps for watching sports on a Sunday afternoon from 9:30 am all the way through Sunday Night Football which usually doesn’t end until 11:30 pm or midnight. Now that takes a certain type of stamina. So I’ve heard. It can be done, but you have to allow for a few naps along the way. Especially if there’s beer and hot dogs involved. And chips. And guac. Not to mention salsa. A chocolate chip cookie. And the occasional 5 mg. gummy. Again I reiterate, not that I’d know.

Now onto our second comic, which was actually the third in our “Sam’s a New Dad” trilogy. I know, it’s not as intergalactically impressive as saying “The Star Wars Trilogy,” but first of all, “Star Wars“ had a much bigger ad budget and secondly, they had about 6,000 movies so how the hell is that a trilogy? “Sam’s a New Dad” is a real, honest to goodness, trilogy. It takes us all the way from when he first became a new dad to when he settled in to becoming a new dad. Now maybe that doesn’t sound like a very long journey to you but remember those first few days of first-time parenthood? That was a looooong journey. Now imagine going through it at age 60. At this age, what he lacks in energy, he makes up for in money and (hopefully) patience. And that explains the $900 jogging stroller, a “must-have” for any new parent of means.

All right, have a happy Friday the 13th unless you have triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13). If that’s the case we gently suggest, GET OVER IT!

ps: I never heard of triskaidekaphobia either until John, aka Mr. Smarty Pants, brought it up

See you next week with two brand new comics and a brand-new saga.

Andy and John