Deal With It. 03/22/24

Hey, we’re getting older. Things we used to love don’t interest us as much and things we used to not like suddenly become more interesting. Stuff changes. Also we tend to accept our strengths and our weaknesses. For instance, at age 70, I finally realized I’m not going to play shortstop for the Mets. Hell, I couldn't even make shortstop on my intramural softball team, and I was the captain! As for John, despite playing soccer for his college, chances are he’s not playing center-mid for Inter Miami, feeding Messi as he attacks the goal. Ain’t happening. I have friends who love tennis and begrudgingly, they’ve switched to pickle ball. Which gets us around to our Zoom Smile comic. For those of you who have followed the blog you know that both John and I became grandparents in the last couple years. For my wife and me, our granddaughter lights up our world. But we each have out strengths. I’m the funny one who makes her laugh. When it’s time for a hug or she gets a “boo boo,” she runs to grandma. I remember one time she came to visit us. We live in an apartment at the end of a long hallway, perfect for running. If you’re three years old. So our daughter and son-in-law buzz up from the lobby that they’re coming up. My wife and I come out to the hallway and squat down to our granddaughter’s level. She shrieks with joy when she sees us and comes running down the hall. I open my arms in expectation, and she runs right past me to my wife. That’s what happened in real life. In the comic, well, John and I think them up, so the kid smiles for the grandpa. You can’t make this stuff up. Oh wait a minute, we just did.

Our other effort is about March Madness. Both John and I know a lot about sports, different sports but we know about the ones we follow, and neither of us know one solitary thing about men’s college basketball. I used to love it, now, not so much. Alright, I know one thing. I went to grad school at Northwestern and they’re in the NCAA Tournament, otherwise known as March Madness. So when John brought up the fact that our Friday comic would intersect with the beginning of the tournament, I said, “I don’t know a thing about the tournament.” And he replied, “Neither do I.”Perfect. Listen, wherever I’ve worked, they’ve always had a pool in which you fill out the brackets and predict the outcomes of every game in a 64-team tournament about which you know nada (as in not a thing). The odds of getting the whole thing right are astronomical, like a billion to one, but don’t quote me on that. So we just looked for the colleges with the goofiest names to pick for the tourney. Our first idea was to pick Murray State, because we once knew a guy named Murray, but, too bad, they’re playing in a different tournament. We went for Auburn and Drake, because we grew up eating Drake’s Cakes. Now we realize this is only a northeastern thing, but if you never have tasted a Yodel, you’re really missing something. Pro tip: a Yodel must be dunked into a glass of milk. And we ain’t talking soy milk either. But I digress. Stetson University came in a close third, but neither of us looks good in a Stetson hat, so Drake it was. Anyway, enjoy the tournament and the comics and we will leave you with one piece of advice: bet the house on Purdue. No, just kidding. We know nothing about them.

Have a great weekend and we’ll see you next week,

John and Andy

Watching the Big Screen 4/9/21

Here’s another problem with getting old. Whining about the fact that things ain’t like they used to be. This observation is always followed by the phrase “these days.” Examples: “Politics is too partisan these days.” “You have to be so careful about what you say these days.” And, relating to our March Madness comic, “College basketball is too much like the pros these days.” As John and I were talking about the NCAA Tournament which ended Monday night (it was really over in the first ten minutes, it just lasted until the final buzzer at which point nobody was watching except for people who attended Baylor) we remarked that the only thing amateur about college hoops is when you see the players reduced to tears when their team finally loses. Then we thought that the truly great players play only one season of college before turning pro, so just how sad are they? They are about to earn unfathomable riches. And yeah, it sucks that old (fill in your alma mater here) lost, but the hell with it, I’m going to the Oklahoma City Thunder!

The other comic this week (not as timely as March Madness) deals with the phenomenon we are all experiencing in real time. A few months ago, one of the major studios decided to release all its upcoming movies to theaters and to HBO Max at the exact same time. This means no more exclusive runs at the movie theater. First of all, what is HBO Max anyway? I already pay for HBO, now I have to pay MORE for Max???? But the point is, that there are fewer and fewer reasons to go to a movie theater and we will be streaming more and more movies in the comfort of our own homes. I must admit I used to like the movie theater experience. The audience shrieks at a scary movie or laughter at a comedy is infectious. There’s surround-sound, DOLBY digital and IMAX. But now the audience is infectious as well. And if you’re on the short side like me, there’s always a 6-footer who decides to sit right in front of you. And let’s face it, the popcorn sucks, unless you go to the Alamo Drafthouse. So we had Al and Joanne recreate the experience at home without going into one of the discussions I have with my wife around home movie watching: do you pour the raisinets straight into the popcorn bowl, or eat them separately.

One final personal note. John and I write about what it’s like to navigate your 60’s because we like to write about what we know. However, we’ve written about being grandparents without personally knowing what that’s like. I am proud to say as of Tuesday night, I now know what that’s like. My daughter Ali and her husband Mark had their first child Charlotte Tuesday around 10pm. My wife Joanie and I are now first time grandparents. And it couldn’t be sweeter.

See you next week with two new ones — comics, not grandchildren.

Andy and John