Caps for Sale 8/5/21

“Caps for Sale” is the name of one of my favorite books when I was a kid. And it also happens to relate to both of this week’s comics. First the debate about screw-top wine bottles vs. corks. I love a good bottle of wine, and after the ritual of the cork is done - foil cutter, followed by Rabbit brand corkscrew remover, it’s time to pour and enjoy. At this point it’s just, wow, this tastes good and pairs well with whatever the hell it is I’m eating. I can also admit to occasions when we are having something that goes with a white wine at home (a broiled lemon sole, for example) and when I go to reach for the wine bottle I am thrilled when I discover that the wine is actually of the screw-top variety. You mean all I have to do is screw the thing open? No more foil cutter, no more Rabbit? Sign me up. But then there’s the occasion when you bring wine to somebody’s house. If you go to a wine store with a knowledgeable staff, chances are they’ll point you in the right direction. But it’s all about perception, right? Does it make you feel twice as good showing up with a $40 bottle of wine vs. a $20 bottle of wine? And who cares if the $20 bottle is actually superior? It’s the presentation that counts. Does it have one of those ribbons around the neck that have been carefully curlicued by running a scissor over it? But what if (gasp!) the bottle has a screw-top? Is the host going to think you’re a cheapskate? Does the ribbon more than make up for the screw-top? And will the wine’s lingering notes of strawberry and tobacco compensate for the easy opening top? Maybe forget the whole thing and bring a bottle of tequilla next time. But with a cork or twist-off…forget it.

And onto the ubiquitous beach hat. John remembers going on an extended family vacation on a cruise ship while I recalled going to my mother-in-law’s 65th birthday in Lake George (34 years ago!!!!!). John made special embarrassing t-shirts for his family and, in my case, we all had embarrassing t-shirts annnouncing “I’m with Charlotte.” When John and I discussed this idea, he immediately sent me a picture of a guy wearing a wide-brimmed, goofy-looking beach hat, just like the one he drew for the comic. I laughingly agreed that, “Yeah, people would really be embarrassed having to walk around wearing a hat like that.” What I didn’t share with him is that I wear a hat that looks almost exactly like that. It might look goofy, but hey, it keeps the sun off the back of my neck. And if it’s windy, it has strings so you can keep the hat from blowing away by tying the string into a bow under your chin. Well, YOU can tie the string in a bow under YOUR chin, but that is a step too far for me. I prefer to look cool, which is why I lost my first beach hat to a large gust of wind while riding in a boat. The guys in our comic actually WANTED to lose their hats. That was John’s ending, because I am still trying to hold onto my backup beach hat. And one other thing. John’s drawn hat was blue, which is much, much more embarrassing than the hat I wear, which is tan. And tan hats look totally cool, right Stuart? (My older brother-in-law who goes nowhere without the same tan beach hat).

That’s it for this week. Keep your hats on and wear your sun block. We’ll see you next week with two new comics, but we are keeping the subjects under our collective hat.

Andy and John