Fear of Flying. 05/15/26

People of a certain age remember Erica Jong’s groundbreaking book, Fear of Flying. It was about, among other things, telling women they could have sex without strings. It introduced us to the term “zipless fuck,” which was about what we just said it was about. Thankfully our comics this week have nothing to do with that. It refers to getting on a plane to see your grandchildren and always catching whatever cold they happen to be carrying at the time. Face it grandpas and grandmas, you love the hell out of them, but nursery school, day care, McDonalds ball pits…who knows how many germs they’re exposed to. Truth be told, if they allowed adults in, I’d dive into a Mickey D’s ball pit. It looks like a lot of fun. Sure you’ll likely get a cold, but a little Zicam, Vicks Vaporub and a box of Puffs Plus with aloe, and you’re right back in the game. John’s grandkids live in South Carolina, which requires him to fly and let’s face it, airplanes are probably just as bad as ball pits. But in the end, as John put it, when you see their snotty little faces, you just have to hug them. For me, it’s only a car ride to Brooklyn to see the little ones. I hug and kiss their “snotty little faces, and then grab a Kleenex to wipe said snot from said noses. My older granddaughter tolerates the nose wipe, the little one hates it. Listen, the more germs they get exposed to, the more immunities they develop. But I have heard of some new parents (maybe because they lived through the pandemic) require the grandparents to get a Covid shot, flu shot, and to personally sign six-page vaccination spreadsheet before being able to enter the house. All I can say is I used to drink water out of the garden hose while one of my grandpas chain smoked cigarettes and I turned out okay (depending on who you ask).

Our other effort is yet another Jeopardy game. Thanks to all of you who wrote in saying how much they like those. We will sprinkle them in from time to time. Like airport codes. Who comes up with these? New Orleans is MSY. Newark is EWR (what’s wrong with NWK)? And my favorite, YYZ, which of course means Toronto. Thankfully our assistant Chat GPT has the answers to how those codes came into existence. New Orleans? An aviator named John Moisant was celebrated and the land used for the airport was once a stockyard, so Moisant Stock Yards or MSY. Newark? U.S. airport codes avoid starting with the letter “N” because of old naval/radio designations. Who knew? So EWR. That is a strange designation but hey, it’s New Jersey. And finally Toronto. I read the explanation and I still can’t understand it. Anyway, gotta run. I’ve got a flight from Westchester Airport, HPN. The PN is from White Plains. Nobody knows where the H comes from. But at least this one makes sense, Nothing says White Plains like PN, right?

Have a great weekend and the part about going to Westchester Airport? That was made up so we could squeeze the PN part in. See you next week,

Andy and John