On sexy voices and unsexy dining companions 2/19/21

You know those annoying calls? Why are they always about extending your car warranty? And why do they chastise you (“This is the fifth time we’ve tried to reach you…”)? Doesn’t work. Yet they keep trying. But sometimes, sometimes that voice on the other end is kind of sexy. And we know it’s a robot voice, but still. John and I discussed whose voice would be the most attractive to our audience. I pushed for Scarlett Johansson but then John reminded me that our comic is called The New 60 and we settled on a cross between Suzanne Pleshette (from the Bob Newhart Show) and Kathleen Turner (Body Heat, among others). And don’t pretend you don’t know Bob Newhart. Anyway, we thought about how many steps we take to ban these numbers from ever calling us back (kind of like unfriending somebody on FaceBook). I have entered my cell phone number on a National Do Not Call Registery, I’ve blocked individual crank calls so many times it makes me dizzy and I’ve said some pretty rude things to these voices before I realized they are mostly robots. None of it seems to work. But what if you really liked that voice and wanted to save it? What would you do then? And that was the impetus for our first comic.

Comic number two comes straight from the front pages (even if you get your newspaper digitally). In New York State, where we both live, indoor dining is open again in a limited capacity with distance and mask restrictions. But it’s been so long since we’ve been at the diner, we (and our characters) were longing to go back in. But we thought, what did people use to do back when people got together? The first thing was pulling out your cell phone and sharing adorable pictures of your family. And we thought, that would be pretty tough from 6-feet apart. For all you naysayers out there, we didn’t put them in masks, since a) they were socially distant and b) you can’t eat with a mask on. But rest assured (at least in your imagination) that they will be putting their masks back on when they leave. Even if they’ve received their first vaccinations.

So that’s the show for this week. Have a great weekend, and if you’re in Texas, we pray you have a warm weekend as well. See you next week with two new ones,

Andy and John

Getting Carried Away 10/23/2020

In the last blog I revealed that my wife and I went to Portland, Maine, a couple of weeks ago while John and his wife went to the Cape. We both visited New England, and I promised that these would lead to several comics. The first on your list is about my favorite show courtesy of Mother Nature, the changing of the leaves. The breathtaking beauty of red, orange, gold, green and yellow leaves. But the New York area (where we live) is awash in another less beautiful tradition. And that is a not so silent competition about being and experiencing “the best.” When it comes to leaves, that means going during “Peak Season.” What is the proper definition of peak season? Duh, It’s the weekend you choose to go leaf-peeping. But there is an unofficial definition as well. And it changes depending on where you live. On the east coast, it starts earliest up north, where the days get shorter and the nights get colder a lot quicker than they do further south. Hence, states like Maine and Vermont and New Hampshire see their leaves ablaze in color weeks sooner than in New York. New Yorkers want to brag that they are seeing the leaves at their peak, and the locals take great delight in proving them wrong. And that was the premise for our first comic. Marv and Rachel just loved, loved, loved the spectacular colors but they needed the approval of a local to tell them they were there at the exact right time. And when they found out it was past peak, well then the leaves weren’t quite so beautiful. Confession: neither John nor I are competitive about silly things like that, though I must point out that since Cape Cod, Massachusetts, is well south of Portland, Maine, that we saw much much better leaves than they did.

Comic 2 in your scroll had absolutely nothing to with our mutual trips to New England. But it has everything to do with the dread that lies close beneath the surface of each and every one of us. Fear of Covid. (I sneezed, that’s a sign! I think I might have a temperature, that’s a sign. I’m really tired tonight. Is that a sign? Well you got only 5 hours of sleep last night and you hiked 8 miles, so that could have something to do with it. No that’s not it, I’ve got to get tested.)

The point is that so many people have contracted it, and nobody really knows how they contracted it, that we will go to any length to avoid it. Including my taking a jog in the rain so as not to run on the nice, indoor treadmill at my local gym, only a five-minute walk away. Fear of Covid even conspired to ruin Al’s Taco Night. Fortunately, in Al’s case, he will live to see another comic which next week will feature yet another New England inspired misadventure.

That’s it for now, and we’ll be back with two new ones for Halloween weekend, where there will be no trick or treating, which is a real shame, especially since John is a champion pumpkin carver. We’ll put a link to his personal site up next week so you can view his work.

Have a great weekend,

Andy and John