On Doctors and Toys 5/27/22

If you’re over 50, you know how it goes. You go out to dinner with your friends and the conversation usually starts with, “So how’s your arm/leg/shoulder/hip/foot/back doing?” And as you describe it, along with what doctor you’re seeing, you usually get a response something like, “Oh, if you’re interested, I’ve got a great internist/oncologist/ foot doctor/orthopedist/gynecologist you could talk to, I’ll text you the number.” This is what led Al to request no doctor talk before the meal started. It’s something I have requested more than once (not that I’m controlling or anything). And it caused us to wonder, are we talking about doctors so much because we have to see them so much more often, or are we talking about doctors because we have nothing interesting left to say? And (this one is only me), are we talking about doctors because we are getting older or does talking so much about doctors and physical ailments actually make us older?

Moving on to our second comic. This one was inspired by John’s Click Clack comic a couple weeks ago. For those of you who might have missed it, Click Clack was a popular toy way back consisting of two acrylic balls attached to both ends of a string. By flipping your wrist up, you made the balls click, by flipping it down you made them clack. Click clack they went until, sometimes, they exploded, sending shards of acrylic flying. Such a game would never be approved today which led us to think about the most dangerous games of our collective youths. We agreed on the EZ Bake Oven and Big League Chew, but we had different recollections of Lawn Darts. The game, as directed, put two people on opposite sides in a backyard. Each player put the enclosed circle or “target” on the ground and the idea was to throw a metal-tipped dart so it stuck in the lawn within the circle. The twist that my friends put on it was to add the game of “Chicken” to the festivities. That is, you became a chicken and lost points if your opponent’s throw caused you to move your feet for fear of getting impaled by the aforementioned lawn dart. Confession, I lost a bunch at this game but avoided getting impaled.

That’s it for this week, see you next week as the summer officIally kicks off. Yikes, how did that happen so fast?

Andy and John

What's Next??? 12/17/21

Are we really getting to the end of 2021? And what do we make of these times? If you are anything like us, chances are you find them increasingly hard to understand. This being a blog about a comic strip, however, we are not going to tackle politics or artificial intelligence (speaking of artificial intelligence, spell check just corrected the way I spelled intelligence, but that’s a story for another time), we will confront such life changing events as the all too real supply chain-induced cream cheese shortage. Talk about a problem. I mean, if you’re anything like me, butter just won’t do (John vehemently disagrees with this). In fact, I have a certain family member (who will go unnamed) who likes to PRE-BUTTER her bagels BEFORE she puts them under the broiler, resulting in a golden topped bagel. That’s the good news. But when you next apply a liberal schmear of cream cheese (note: not a coating, not a layer, a schmear) it’s too damn fatty. So leave the butter off, okay?? And speaking of artificial intelligence, it’s not that smart. It just tried to autocorrect my spelling of “schmear” to “schemer.” I can assure you, there was no scheme whatsoever. Clearly, the artificial intelligence is not Jewish. But back to the comic. There really IS a worldwide cream cheese shortage, and when I mentioned to John that I have a half-full container of Whole Foods 365 Cream Cheese plus a back-up container of Philly, he immediately called me a hoarder. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me (though he may have a good point).

Now, back to the future, as we pick up the saga of Sid. You may remember him as the 30-something son of Al and Joanne who still lived at home with his parents. But then he sold an app and is now a rich young man. John and I wondered how a young guy with money would decorate his new apartment. For research I used my own kids. I have a son who loves sports like I do and so a tv plays a prominent role in his apartment. I have a married daughter who is most definitely not a sports fan and the tv plays a minor role in her house. It’s quite possible to go there for a visit and then have to go to the local sports bar to catch the Knicks. So John and I debated, how would Sid decorate. And then he came up with the idea for a hidden tv. We debated should it come down from the ceiling or up from a wall unit. Well, since we didn’t want to break in through the floor of the apartment above (I mean he’s rich, but not THAT rich), we went with the wall unit. That’s the thing about comics, you can pretty much make them up as you go along. And speaking of making them up, we need to make up two new ones, which takes us right into the holiday season.

So merry Christmas, happy Chanukah and a joyous Kwanzaa (in advance)

Andy and John

These are a few of my favorite things 7/09/21

It’s kinda hard to believe that we are already past two of the big three summer holidays. At least we don’t have to go back to school. But as we race along through the year, it’s good to take stock of where we’ve been and where we’re going. Like Marv, who moved his mom into an assisted living home, where she was happy to go (hey this is a comic and things work out the way we want them to work out, okay)? But now it was time to get her papers in order, whatever that means. To me it means shuffling them around and putting them into piles that make sense at the time, and then never doing anything with those piles. But it was in the nascent days of The New 60 when John and I were at work on a bunch of upcoming comics. We had yet to hit our working rhythm. So, we would either work at his apartment on the balcony or my apartment on the balcony (this is before he moved over 100 miles away-maybe it was my breath?). This was also before the invention of Zoom. On this particular day we were working on my deck and John showed me a bunch of magic marker-type drawings he had done for upcoming ideas. He was very well prepared. He even came with stones to use as paperweights. Trouble is, I live right by the Hudson River and it gets pretty windy (note, if Larry David hadn’t already made it his trademark, I would’ve said, pretty, pretty, pretty windy, but he already said it so I can’t). Moving on, John neglected to place said drawings under said stones when a huge gust of wind came along and blew all the papers off the deck. I live on the 3rd floor so we had to knock on the people’s door on the second floor whohave the deck right below me, and then we actually broke into the deck on the ground floor and recovered almost everything, and while I was breaking and entering, John was going through some prickly shrubbery to recover the rest, and eventually emerged, worse for wear. Somehow, this turned into Marv losing his mom’s papers, but you get the idea.

Next up is the guys at the diner talking about one of their favorite topics, food. Hint to our women fans, when guys get together (heterosexual guys anyway), they used to talk about girls but after a certain age, they talk about food. Not just any food, but the food we sneak so you don’t see us eating it. There, the secret’s out. Shoot me. On second thought, please don’t. We had a lot of (un)healthy debate about McDonald’s vs White Castle vs In ‘n Out, but thought In ‘n Out was too esoteric for our east coasters. Another hint, if you go to In ‘n Out, as I once did with my nephew David, order it “animal style.” It’s an insider’s secret he taught me and now, well, I’ve blown that too. In short, don’t tell me secrets. Shhh. That’ll be our little secret.

We will see you next week with two new ones hot off the press. Until then enjoy your summer weekend.

Andy and John

On implants and veggie dogs 6/25/21

I was in Pittsburgh this past weekend and was bemoaning the loss of a cultural institution there, The Original Hot Dog Shop, listed in Google as “permanently closed.” It was better known as “The Dirty O” or “Essie’s Original Hot Dog Shop,” and it closed after 60 years. It opened up a block away from Forbes Field, where the Pirates used to play, and it debuted in 1960, the year the Pirates beat the Yankees in the World Series. The “O” was so beloved, Mark Cuban tried to buy it to save it, but to no avail. So there I was in Pittsburgh lamenting the loss of the “O” (full disclosure, I had a hot dog and fries there at 3 am after my wedding, some 37 years ago). So I asked a friend, where do you go for a dog these days? And he said Dee’s, without a moment’s hesitation. He added that he went there with his family, including his wife who does NOT like hot dogs. So she ordered a veggie dog, and when she asked the counterman what she should put on it, he replied, “meat.” So there it is. The New 60’s first ever comic that came complete with a punchline. Over the years, we’ve gotten lots of suggestions for ideas that we have taken and tweaked. But until now, no idea had ever come complete with a funny ending. I promised never to use people’s names to avoid embarrassing them, but in this case you know who you are and thanks for the story. It went down easier than, dare we say it, a veggie dog. A lot easier.

The second strip also came from a personal experience. This happened when my dentist shaved my four lower middle teeth into nubs and my periodontist pulled them a couple weeks ago. He put it implants, and I have to wait three months for them to heal. Now, if you are a certain type of person (hint: a guy) and you hear the word “implants,” what do you think of? Not teeth. And that’s what propelled us to our second comic of the week. One reason we love this comic is because it leads us to conversations like the following. I was getting off the plane Monday and looked at my phone and John had sent me his pencil sketch of the implants’ comic. The ending had Sam a little confused as he wondered why anyone would want bigger teeth. I wondered if “bigger” was the right word. Might it be fuller teeth or perhaps rounder teeth? In other words, what word would make the reader think instantly of breast implants. After much back and forth, we decided on “bigger.” And to think we could get paid for doing this…

Enjoy your summer as it starts warming up for good. Half of the New 60 staff is heading out to the beach, but don’t worry, this comic works remotely as well. Have a great weekend and we will be back to you next Friday with two new ones.

Andy and John

Sam Comes Back 6/4/21

When we first started this comic, we thought it would be fun to have a diverse set of friends, not only diverse in the racial sense, but also diverse in how their lives turned out. Gives us lots of fodder for different plots. That’s why in addition to two married couples (Al/Joanne and Marv/Rachel) we have a single guy dating (Craig) and a guy on his second marriage (Sam). At first Sam was the object of jealousy when he married a woman 20 years his junior (Shellie). And then she got pregnant and had a baby (Sammy) and suddenly the gang was not jealous of Sam anymore.

Because John and I are in our 60’s and our kids are all grown up, we tend to forget what a tremendous amount of time and effort it took to raise children from infancy. Now, because I’m a new grandpa, I see it up close and cannot believe we got through it in one piece. Suffice it to say, Sam is not getting through it in one piece. So they hired a babysitter with an advanced degree in child development. The fact that he’s covered in tattoos and just came out of prison is entirely beside the point. Who are we to judge? Well, it turns out we’re just like everyone else. So we introduce you to the new male babysitter, Sonny. He will give Sam some form of his old life back again and he gives us a fun new character to play with.

This week we reintroduce Sam back to the diner with his buddies and then take him to the park where Marv gets to meet Sonny for the first time. We hope, once you finish judging him, you will grow to love him. Afterall, there’s nothing to lose, because what the hell, it’s not like he’s looking after YOUR kid.

Have a good weekend (even if it’s cold and rainy) and we will see you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John

On sexy voices and unsexy dining companions 2/19/21

You know those annoying calls? Why are they always about extending your car warranty? And why do they chastise you (“This is the fifth time we’ve tried to reach you…”)? Doesn’t work. Yet they keep trying. But sometimes, sometimes that voice on the other end is kind of sexy. And we know it’s a robot voice, but still. John and I discussed whose voice would be the most attractive to our audience. I pushed for Scarlett Johansson but then John reminded me that our comic is called The New 60 and we settled on a cross between Suzanne Pleshette (from the Bob Newhart Show) and Kathleen Turner (Body Heat, among others). And don’t pretend you don’t know Bob Newhart. Anyway, we thought about how many steps we take to ban these numbers from ever calling us back (kind of like unfriending somebody on FaceBook). I have entered my cell phone number on a National Do Not Call Registery, I’ve blocked individual crank calls so many times it makes me dizzy and I’ve said some pretty rude things to these voices before I realized they are mostly robots. None of it seems to work. But what if you really liked that voice and wanted to save it? What would you do then? And that was the impetus for our first comic.

Comic number two comes straight from the front pages (even if you get your newspaper digitally). In New York State, where we both live, indoor dining is open again in a limited capacity with distance and mask restrictions. But it’s been so long since we’ve been at the diner, we (and our characters) were longing to go back in. But we thought, what did people use to do back when people got together? The first thing was pulling out your cell phone and sharing adorable pictures of your family. And we thought, that would be pretty tough from 6-feet apart. For all you naysayers out there, we didn’t put them in masks, since a) they were socially distant and b) you can’t eat with a mask on. But rest assured (at least in your imagination) that they will be putting their masks back on when they leave. Even if they’ve received their first vaccinations.

So that’s the show for this week. Have a great weekend, and if you’re in Texas, we pray you have a warm weekend as well. See you next week with two new ones,

Andy and John