Brand Identity. 10/02/26

I’m not sure what peeves me more. People trying to become brands or brands trying to become people. Last week the guys tried to become brands, but they didn’t exactly take their assignment seriously. This week Al’s franchise, Pizza-on-a-Stick, tries to become a person. When we were in advertising, I worked for a time on Pizza Hut and John worked big time on Little Caesars. If you think the “pizza pizza” guy looks a lot like Al, there’s a reason. John illustrated them both. In fact, people think I look a little like Al, but his nose is wayyyy bigger. I wonder what Al would look like in a toga. Did you ever notice that brand personalities and brand identities never have any flaws? Would you want to hang with people who had no flaws? Or worse, people who thought they had no flaws? If a soda pop can be identified as optimistic, joyful, inclusive and uplifting, I wonder how it would feel if somebody let it go flat and dumped it down the drain and then further disrespected it by turning on the disposal? How would it feel then, huh?

Now Pizza-on-a-Stick has never been the warm, uplifting, positive friend that Coca Cola has always been. Nor does Pizza-on-a-Stick have the aforementioned Little Caesars’ fun, bold, playful, unpretentious, generous personality (that’s for real, we looked it up on ChatGPT). In fact (please don’t tell Al), Pizza-on-a-Stick is a dumbass idea. Did you ever stop and think what would happen if you tried to eat pizza on a. stick. You take one bite and immediately burn your mouth and hand with the hot, dripping tomato sauce and cheese. And if you bite too hard there’s always the risk of splinters.

If you have any ideas for a brand personality for The New 60, write us and let us know. Just as long as it’s glowingly positive, upbeat and fun. Just like Al.

Have a great weekend all you affable, joyous, ridiculously god-looking readers and we will see you next week,

Andy and John