60 Years Young. 07/03/26

There’s this funny thing that happens when we age, (or at least when I age). Although our bodies can’t do what they used to do, our minds refuse to admit it. At least a little bit. Case in point: a good friend shows you a picture of his college-age granddaughter dressed provocatively and you say, some form of, “Wow she looks so happy, she’s got a great smile, or she must have all the guys chasing after her,” but what you’re really thinking is…enough said on this particular topic. And what the hell does it have to do with softball? Plenty. Because we still think we have it, at least a little bit. No, you’re not going to go diving headfirst for a ground ball, but if the ball is hit where you can reach it, you will make the play. And of course the ensuing throw to first base will be no trouble at all. But the reality is you can’t bend as easily, you have lost a lot of arm strength and flexibility through the natural result of aging, but again, you don’t have to hurry the throw because the guy running to first hasn’t even made it out of the batter’s box.

Let’s get this straight. I was the captain of my college intramural softball team in St. Louis and the captain of a team in New York after that, filled with former college teammates in St. Louis, who now lived in New York. We were called the Idle Minds, because this is what we did in our idle time. Now lest you think, “Wow, you must be a pretty great athlete, being the captain and all,” I feel it necessary to admit I was only the captain because I did the work of putting the team together and registering them. Partly because I was willing to put the work in and partly (mostly) because this was the only way I could make the starting lineup. Because I made the starting lineup.

This comic series revolves around an invitation to Marv and Al to play in an Over-60 League, which means you can only play if you’re over 60. I played a few years on an Over-40 team in Westchester County, where we lived when our kids were growing up. At one point I fielded a ball at second base, and tossed it underhand to the shortstop who missed turning a double play by an eyelash. The first baseman turned to me and said, “Why didja toss it underhand, you shoulda thrown it overhand.” To which I responded, “Why are you so fat that you need someone to run to first base after you hit the ball?” We almost came to blows before the more mature people on the squad calmed us down. That was it for me in Over-40 softball, over-50, over-60 and now, yikes I could qualify for an Over-70 team if something even exists. “Batting first for the Tarrytown Assisted Living League, Andy…” Nope, that was it for yours truly. John played and coached soccer, playing in the occasional over-40 and over-50 tournaments. His last league soccer game was playing with a bunch of 20 and 30-somethings in a league in Manhattan. Okay it was a seven-a-side league on shorter fields (less running) but he did manage to score a goal, to the wide-eyed amazement of the younger players who referred to him as “the bald guy” as in, “You cover number 10, I have the bald guy.”

That’s it for this week. We will see you next week with another two in this series. Have a beautiful summer weekend,

Andy and John

Acu-what? 06/19/26

It makes sense, right? I mean you’ve got a chronic pain somewhere, the knee, the back and for me the neck (I know there are many that consider me a pain in the neck but I actually have a pain in the neck.) It makes sense when you are suffering to seek somebody out who will stick multiple pins in you to help you to feel better. In the hands of the right person, it actually works. But the practice is weird enough to make a 3-comic series out of it. All the misconceptions from people who have never done it (like John) to people who have done it (like me). Sure they stick needles around my neck area, but also in my thigh, the side of my hand, my ankle and god knows where else (no, not there.) The needles block the pain from the nerve to reach the brain, or something like that. As a now experienced acupuncture recipient I do have this one bit of advice: do not roll over onto your back. Like ever.

How did this chronic pain in the neck happen? I was 24 years old, in other words, as Don McLean once famously sang, “A long, long time ago.” I was starting my first job in advertising in 7/7/77 and NW Ayer, Chicago. I was so excited (and very nervous) so when they asked me one day, “You wanna play on our softball team?” I jumped at the chance. I had to work right up until it was time to leave for the game. When I got there they asked me if I wanted to play in the infield or outfield, and I immediately chose infield because 1) I’m better at that and 2) I have trouble catching fly balls. One thing you should know about Chicago softball, they don’t use mitts. Nope, they play with a larger ball (16-inch circumference vs the usual 12-inch) so after a couple of batters hit it, it becomes progressively softer. I get there without warming up, but hey, I’m 24. And they put me at third base. The very first ball is a hard shot right at me, I catch it and it hurts, but I’m not gonna yell “oww” because I’m a dumb 24-year old. Instead I was going to show them how strong a throwing arm I had. I threw a laser beam to first base. The only trouble is that it was eight feet over the first baseman’s head. Immediately upon letting the ball go I felt something tear in my right rotator cuff and it still bothers me almost 50 years later. In fact, it hurts even writing about it. And to set the record straight, I’m way better at second base and it’s a much, much shorter throw.

So that’s it for writing about acupuncture (one more comic next week), I have to run to my appointment today. The acupuncturist is going to open my bladder channel in order to relieve my neck pain. Don’t ask, but do have a great weekend,

Andy and John