Enough with the Drugstores Already 2/11/22

What is it with John and me and drugstores? And why am I asking you when I can easily ask John? Or myself? Okay, I’ll tell you why it is. Because when you get beyond a certain age (hint, it’s the age specified in the name of our comic strip) you find you have to visit the drugstore with increasing frequency. And there’s so much to love about the process. There’s the fact that you don’t have the right loyalty card or the ridiculously long receipt with offers (if you bother to read the damn thing) for things you actually want because you’ve bought them before. But they also expire before you ever get a chance to act on them. Well with the world spinning ever more crazily out of control, Marv figured one way to get the best of them. Why not plan on making two trips to the drugstore instead of the normal one? Figure you buy something cheap the first time, like a bottle of water. Then you come back the very next day with your coupons from the day before (surely coupons can’t expire that quickly) and load up on toothpaste, mouthwash, body wash, razor blades—the whole kit and caboodle. Genius right? I don’t actually know if it works (John thought this whole nefarious plot up in the first place), but it seems like it’s worth a try. Yeah, I know it’s a waste of time to have to go to the drugstore an extra time, but hell, we’re in our 60’s and beyond. Trust me, if there’s one thing most of us have, it’s time. Truth be told, I went to the drugstore two times in one hour last week. The first time I bought whatever it was that I came to buy but after approaching the register, I realized I had left both my wallet and phone back home. No, I’m not THAT much of an idiot (I had gone out for an exercise walk, and don’t like to weigh myself down with extra accessories I don’t anticipate using), but upon reaching the cashier I told him, “No problem, I can recite my credit card number by heart,” to which he replied, “But I can’t enter the number manually, only digitally.” I walked home, bitched to my wife, who responded, “Just get in the car and go back there with your wallet and take care of it, you’ll feel better.” And so I did. And so I confess, she was right. I also completely forgot about the floor-length coupon that came with my purchase. But we digress. The point is, if I’m willing to go twice in the same day without a damn coupon, then I can surely go twice in two days, WITH the aforementioned coupon. And now that we have that straight, let’s move on to our second comic.

The germ for this idea happened to a buddy of mine. He was on a call when his wife walked in the front door in mid-conversation on her phone. He overheard her say things that gave him pause, “You know, I’ve had it, I am so done with…” He took a deep breath before she mentioned the guy’s name, and miracle of miracles, it turns out she wasn’t talking about him. I told John and we pounced on that one right away and called it “Guilty Conscience,” because, after hearing a string of horrible attributes, why would someone think it was about him? In fact, John suggested that our character, Joanne, should say things like “he only thinks about himself,” which made me wonder, was he talking about me? I think of other people. I often ask them what they think about what I’m wearing.

Okay enough for this week. Onto the Super Bowl where this particular guy would not be surprised by a Cincinnati Bengal upset. Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Rams blew them out either. How’s that for taking a stand? See you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John

Struggling 4/2/21

It used to be different. It used to be, you’d produce a high-quality product (we’d like to think our comic strip qualifies) and then sell it to a syndicate, and the rest was smooth sailing, except for the part about coming up with new material and then drawing, inking and coloring it. To take the most ridiculously successful example, Charles Schulz of Peanuts fame used to be published in 4,200 newspapers worldwide. The charge to the papers was $100, half to the syndicate, half to Mr. Schulz. That came out to roughly $210,000. Every day. 7 days a week. Then came the internet. And newspapers started fading away. At least the print editions. So what’s a budding comic creator to do these days? Well, you have to give it away for free, and then try to merchandise it. How about a stuffed Marv doll? An Al lunchbox? Doesn’t float your boat? Rachel t-shirts anyone? Now, you give away the content free and try to build an audience naturally. That means having people like it, and share it by sending (emailing) comics they like to their friends. Once you grow big enough, then you can sell it to advertisers or the aforementioned syndicates. Believe me, we’ve talked to syndicates. They have tons of helpful suggestions like introducing magical animals, or having every comic turn into a dream. How about using the characters in a line of greeting cards? This week, John and I decided to “break the fourth wall,” and have the characters talk about themselves as characters. It’s a fun way to take all the suggestions we’ve gotten and put them to use. And frankly, it’s a really good way to vent.

The second comic is part of our Then and Now series. In this installment we compare rotary phones to cell phones. And our struggle with them. Remember when we used to have an “exchange?” Like MUrray Hill 7-1234 or CHickering 4-5678? First of all, what the hell is an exchange? Or an operator. I remember that whenever Lassie was late coming home, the mom would pick up her phone (it was a party line so no rotary dial) and speak to the operator who would make the call for her. Of course, by the time they got through all of that Lassie had found her way home, so the whole ordeal was a waste of time. But I digress. The thing is now all you have to do is look up “home” and the phone dials it for you. Which explains why I can’t remember anyone’s phone number anymore. Because I don’t have to. It’s certainly not due to memory fading with age. It’s all the phone’s fault, is that clear???

That’s it for this week. We hope nobody plays any April Fools tricks on you and we’ll see you next week.

Andy and John

On losing stuff 09/17/2020

Today’s first comic came right out of a real life experience. It was Friday morning, I was getting my stuff together before leaving to play golf. My cell phone rings. It’s John, asking me a question about next week’s comic. As we spoke, I was busy putting things in a bag. A sandwich, some water, grapes, golf balls, so I was a little distracted. I kept looking around and couldn’t find something. Then I couldn’t remember what it was I couldn’t find. I told John I had to get off the phone so I could find something, and then it occurred to me what I was trying to find. My phone. The very one I had been using to speak with John. Bingo. Comic #1. So that’s the good news. The bad news is this: what level of hell is it when you not only can’t remember where you put something, you also forget what you’re looking for? I’ll say this about that: it doesn’t happen often but it happens more often than it used to. If given the choice, I guess I’d rather lose my phone than my mind. Now, what was I talking about?

Next on your dial is a conversation we had about how much social interaction we allow in our lives. John and his wife Linda have a small core group they socialize with and if people come over to the house, they stay outside. Everyone in the group is mindful and protective about the coronavirus. But what about the people they hang out with, huh? I mean, if you’re the kind of person that limits your grocery shopping to twice a month, do you want to hang out with someone who goes once a week? And who knows how often their friends go grocery shopping anyway? Or eat outside at a restaurant? And now that it’s getting colder, are you willing to eat inside if they limit the seating to 25% capacity? Just how much are you willing to risk for that plate of linguini alla vongole?

So we imagined what it would be like to go over our list of friends and family to decide who makes the cut and who doesn’t this coming season. And how much do we even know about what our partners have done today and how often they’ve washed their hands? All I know is we’ve used an unbelievable amount of question marks in this blog? Even unnecessary ones like in that last sentence.

Well, we hope that answers all your questions and I’d tell you to make sure you read the blog, but you’re already reading it, so never mind.

Have a great weekend and we’ll be back next week with two new ones.

Andy and John