Parenting An Adult Child 07/15/22

What does it mean to parent a child? Certainly, it means different things to different people, but how does it change once your kids become adults themselves? I remember many years ago (I’d appreciate a medal just for remembering many years ago) observing a friend parenting her own 6 years old (my kids were 5 and 8 then). The kid was upset about something or other (about what specifically…I do NOT remember), and the kid said something to the effect of “What should I do?” And the parent turned to her child and asked, “What do YOU think you should do?” I never forgot that. because I, on the other hand, would have answered that question directly by telling either of my kids exactly what they should do (“You go up to that kid tomorrow and tell him that what he did wasn’t very nice and it hurt your feelings”). I cleaned up what I would have said for the purposes of this blog. Truthfully it was more like “You go to school tomorrow and sock him in the nose, that’ll teach him for hitting you!” Bad advice, but more importantly, it was an example of telling your kid what to do as opposed to helping him/her to think for themselves. When John and I discussed this series of “Stevie” comics, we discussed a bunch of things. The first was how to react if your son (or daughter) was coming out to you for the first time. What would you say or would you say nothing at all? And how much reaction is appropriate if your “kid” is over 30 years old? This was never meant to be a story judging a person’s sexuality. It was judging the parents reactions to their kid’s sexuality, when their “kid” was all grown up. The humor does not rely on the kid’s reveal of Stevie. It relies on Al and Joanne’s reaction to it. If you happen to judge them as being appropriate, then you are agreeing with our approach to parenting: be vague and keep them guessing. If you disagree with it, well then we have one thing to say, good luck.

That is all for this week. We wrap up the Stevie story next week and embark in new directions.

See you then,

Andy and John

Accepting Who We Are 06/03/22

A few weeks ago John participated in the NYC Five Boro Bike Race. We all tell ourselves the same thing after age 60, we’re not in it to compete, just to enjoy the camaraderie and being outdoors on a bicycle. And then the race starts. And people are cheering on the sidewalks. And you’re passing riders and they’re passing you. Wait, what? If you’re anything like me, when someone passes you, the inner dialogue goes something like this: “Not that person, he’s too old. And not this person, she’s too young. And certainly not that person, his stomach is hanging down to his bike seat!” The point is, it’s impossible not to be competitive when you’re in the middle of a competitive race. And, speaking for myself, not John, it’s impossible to be competitive without properly training for the event in the first place. At some point we just accept who we are and take pride in simply participating and finishing. I personally like the attitude of my daughter and her husband, both 36 years old and the proud parents of a 1-yr old baby girl. My wife babysat while they ran the Brooklyn Half marathon, 13.1 miles. They ran at a comfortable pace without killing themselves, but what I admired most was what they did at the finish line. They went to Nathan’s for hot dogs and fries. Now that’s my idea of competition!

Our other comic this week features a pair of uncles at a birthday party. In the past we’ve gotten mail from some of our readers who are gay, asking why we don’t feature more gay characters in our comic strip. Our answer has always been that we write about what we know and we wouldn’t want to pander to any stereotypes or sound inauthentic when representing what our characters say and how our characters feel. So we thought we’d introduce Billy’s gay uncles through what we imagine to be Billy’s eyes. Guileless and non-judgmental, whether it’s an aunt and uncle or two uncles, he’s only happy that they arrived so he can eat the birthday cake. And as far as we’re concerned, if the world worked like that, it would be a far better place (but I guess that’s judgmental in itself). In any case it’s the official kickoff of summer and one half of the New 60 team is on a summer break with 21 family members, ages 1-75, at the beach on a barrier island in South Carolina. That’s my way of saying this will be a mercifully short blog. Sayonara and we’ll see you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John

The world is a confusing place 08/14/2020

Is it just us, or does the world seem harder to understand for you guys as well? John and I worked in ad agencies of all different sizes. When we started in the late 70’s and early 80’s there were people who worked for the same agency for their entire careers and retired with a pension and stock. You shot your commecials in LA, stayed in nice hotels, flew business class, entertained your clients and ate great meals. Seemed like a terrific deal. Today, not so much. Who needs to fly? Who needs a camera? Shoot it on an iPhone. Why pay $1 million for a commercial when you can shoot one for $10,000? And really, who needs to pay all that money to an older copywriter or art director when you can get 3 kids for half the price? Trust us, it is confusing. But on the bright side, if it wasn’t for that system, and we were still writing commercials, you wouldn’t be getting these comics. Of course we’d be getting rich, but it’s much more important to service you. And if you believe that, we’ve got some land we’d like to sell you…

At any rate, when the end is near you can see it coming from a mile down the road. Marv was going through similar changes in the printing industry and we thought we’d bring some of our own experiences to the table in figuring out what would eventually happen to him. When offered the chance to take an “early retirement” he jumped at it. And now Marv will think about his “Second Act.” Just as long as it doesn’t involve playing the harmonica.

The next strip practically wrote itself. John’s dad had a high school yearbook where most of the women described themselves as “gay.” My stepmother to this day will describe a party as “gay.” So when John had the thought to make this insight into a comic, I jumped aboard. It’s crazy how language changes and how meanings change and if you don’t make an effort to keep up, it can get pretty confusing. Fret not. We’re here to clear all that up. When Fred Flintstone had a “gay old time,” he wasn’t cheating on the side with Barney Rubble. A birthday party was something you attended, not some organization promoting Kanye West for president. And weed was something you pulled out of your garden, not something you smoked.

We sincerely hope that clears up all the confusion. Stay safe we’ll see you next week and may all your weekends be festive and gay.

Andy and John