Restaurant Row. 07/31/26

This week we (thankfully) leave the softball field for the restaurant scene. Each scenario has its own set of uhh, challenges. On the softball field it’s injuries and reminders of what you used to be able to do but cannot do any longer. In the restaurant the challenge is being able to hear (if you tell me you don’t struggle with this, I won’t believe you) and also figuring out how to split portions and checks. No, “Yeah but. you had two drinks and I didn't have any,” type comments allowed.

There are many indignities delivered upon us was we age. Some nobody can notice from the outside, like having a low level of vitamin D in your blood. Simple. You take a vitamin B pill everyday and no one is the wiser (except you of course, for remedying your vitamin D levels). But things like glasses and hearing aids, well that’s a different story. Because once you start wearing either (or both) you wear them for the rest of your life. I have already succumbed to eyeglasses. My reasoning is, “Hey, even young people wear glasses.” I draw the line at hearing aids. Because they look like something an old guy uses. Maybe because they are. Except in cases of profound hearing loss. I remember playing softball in my early 30’s when two outfielders shouted for the ball, “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” Then they both slammed into each other, causing the ball to drop. The centerfielder, enraged, yelled at the left fielder, “What are you, deaf?” To which the left fielder replied, “Yes.”

But back to the hearing aids. The supposedly best kind have a piece that sits behind your ear (you can pick out the tone that most resemble your skin tone, but what if I get a sun tan, what then?) and then there’s this little, itty, bitty wire that goes from behind your ear to the piece that actually goes in your ear. I have been to dinner with people wearing them and not noticed, so that’s a possibility, but not for now. Because I have no trouble hearing anything. At all. What’d you say? At any rate, here’s what we say,

Have a great weekend,

Andy and John