Our Memories Aren't Quite What They Used to...wait what was I saying? 03/08/24

Sometimes we get ideas out of thin air. Mostly from experience. And occasionally, from a reader’s experience. In this case a good buddy of mine, Peter Samberg, an excellent lawyer, has become an adjunct professor of Law at Mercy University, or more accurately, Legal Studies Program Coordinator, Mock Trial (in other words, adjunctpProfessor). He actually made a reference to everybody’s favorite lawyer, Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny.” As it turns out, Pesci is everybody’s favorite lawyer who is older than 50. I mean c’mon now. who among us doesn’t remember “two yoots?” But in this case, when the good professor brought up a legal argument made in “My Cousin Vinny” he was met with a classroom full of blank stares. I’ve heard that from other adjunct professors I know. Any attempt at a cultural reference that has great meaning to us, has little or no meaning to them. Now to be fair, it works both ways. Case in point, I took my family to see “Hamilton” when it opened. When the epic duel happens, they sing a song “Ten Duel Commandments.” My son calmly turned to me and said, “Oh, he’s riffing off ‘The Ten Crack Commandment’ by the Notorious B.I.G.” Huh? Oh yeah. Of course. I knew that.

Our other effort this week happened when John and I asked each other how many telephone numbers we remember. Not many. And here’s the thing: I have an almost photographic memory for numbers. Before the cell phone became ubiquitous, I worked in a smallish (is that even a word?) ad agency of about 200 or so people. Everybody had a 4-digit extension attached to the agency’s main number. I still remember mine, X 5169. But here’s the thing. I knew almost everyone’s 4 digit extension. Seriously, people would come up to me and ask, “What’s Jessica’s extension?”And I knew. But now, no way. And it’s got nothing to do with aging. For example John and I call each other multiple times each week. Neither of us has any idea what the other guy’s number is. Why? Because of our damn cell phones. There’s no reason to remember anyone’s number. It’s just, “Hey Siri, call John.” But what happens if your cell phone dies? Those same phones give students no real reason to know their times tables in math. “Hey Siri, what’s 12 multiplied by 2?” These are all lost arts. But supposedly when your phone performs all these tasks, it frees your mind up for more conceptual thinking, like “I wonder what I’m gonna make for lunch?” Or “If I leave the house at 3:30 I’ll have plenty of time to get to the dentist’s office for my 4:15.”

Anyway, have a great weekend. I am off for a mid-week golf trip ‘cause that’s what you can do when you stop working a full-time job. I hope I remember my phone.

Andy and John

On College Days (then) and Electric Toothbrushes (now) 01/14/22

It still feels pretty weird typing “/22” into the date space. And I know you think I’m talking about our Then and Now series when I put those words in the headline. But you probably know better, because you likely have read the comics before you get to the blog, and only one of the comics is a “Then and Now .” At any rate, I couldn’t think of a connection between electric toothbrushes and college (trust me, when I went to college they didn’t have Oral B electric tootbrushes with L.E.D. screens on them), so I went with the old standard, On. As in “On college days and electric toothbrushes.”

So let’s start with something I CAN remember. My new toothbrush. I was complaining to John about this new wonder brush recommended by both my dentist and periodontist (don’t ask what a periodontist is because I still don’t know. I just know that it’s expensive and hurts a lot). So this toothbrush encourages you to brush for 2 minutes. That’s a lot longer than it sounds. And if you’re in a rush, like during the mornings, you sometimes cut it a little short. Okay, a lot short. But after I have covered all the teeth, front and back, upper and lower, and am racing out of the house to catch a train, go a gym class or drive to some appointment or other, I look at the screen and see either a complete frown (if I’ve only brushed for say 45 seconds) or a half frown (only the left side is downturned) if I’ve made it to 1:37. I tried to compensate by refusing to look at the small screen on the brush, but it bothered me. In fact it bothered me enough so that I took a picture of the various faces (up to and including the full smile, which I achieve every single night) and sent them to John and said, I think we’ve got a comic here. As soon as I explained the dilemma to him, he countered, “Why don’t you just brush the complete two minutes?” And we had our comic, complete with punch line. I still maintain 2 minutes is a long time.

The inspiration for our other comic came from a crappy winter Monday. Temperatures in the low teens with a howling wind. I was supposed to meet a college buddy, also recently retired, for lunch and a hike…but there were prevailing circumstances: a) it was too cold to hike and b) due to the Omicron variant, we didn’t feel comfortable eating inside a restaurant and c) one restaurant did offer heated outdoor seating but (refer to circumstance a) it was too damn cold outside. So I went to my friend’s house, and he ordered take out and we ate it in his kitchen. Then we hung out and talked. We talked about now, we reminisced about the past and we may or may not have shared a drink and a couple hits of a joint (I’ll never tell). And I laughed because it occurred to me that this could have been 50 years ago on a winter Monday afternoon back in college and we would’ve been doing the exact same thing. I brought this scenario up to John and we molded it into one of our “Now and Then” series. He, as he usually does, steered us away from a more obvious ending to one that basically let the picture do the talking. As the song says: “that’s what friends are for…”

Have a great weekend and we will see you next week with our two latest.

Andy and John