Chew on This. 06/26/26

We have officially stuck a pin into our acupuncture series with our third and final installment. I think there are no stupid questions about acupuncture because no one (except hopefully the acupuncturist) knows anything about it. Well we know it’s an ancient Chinese therapy, and if anything has the prefix “ancient Chinese” I for one, am pretty sure it works.

Speaking of stupid questions I once took a class in TM, more commonly known as Transcendental Meditation. The yogi said, “Any questions,” and when he was met with silence he said, “Don’t be shy, there are no stupid questions. So I asked the yogi (whose name was Stanley Katz by the way - who described himself as a Jewdist or Jewish Buddhist) a question, “Could I do TM while lying down or did I have to be sitting upright? To which he responded, “That’s a stupid question,” and I’m sure that came from the Jewish side of his Jewdist beliefs. And In case you were wondering, TM is not an AC (ancient Chinese) therapy, it’s actually Indian, invented by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the same guy the Beatles studied with. As soon as I finish this blog, I’m off for my final acupuncture treatment of the summer. Followed by some TM, or possibly a slice of pepperoni pizza. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Which brings us tour second comic, called “Decisions.” A typically healthy male decision goes something like this, “I want pizza. Should I get the pepperoni or the mushroom and sausage? Hmm, my cardiologist says I should cut down on meat, so I’ll go with the plain margherita pizza.” Nowhere does the the thought come in, “is pizza really the healthiest choice? I mean the salad looks good but with bleu cheese and a creamy balsamic vinegar, it’s probably just as many calories as the pizza, so the hell with it, I’ll have the pizza.” Women on the other hand are far more realistic and intelligent about their health (my wife reads the blog - I had to say that. And John reminds me that about 60% of our audience is women. Plus I really believe it.) In a restaurant women say the quiet part out loud, “Can I have the chopped salad please. No onions, no cheese, extra tomato and the dressing on the side?” Not that I’m generalizing or anything. So the women get the healthier choice. The reason men don’t do that is that if they thought about the calories in the dressing and cheese they’d say, “Screw it, I’ll have the pizza with mushroom, sausage AND pepperoni.”

The one thing I’m very prudent about in my diet is the strict avoidance of vegetables. I’m very good about that. As a female friend once told me, “Did you ever have cauliflower crust pizza? It’s pretty good.” So I went to Trader Joe’s and bought one. When she asked me how I liked it, I said, “Not so much.” She asked, “Why?” I repsonded, “Because the crust tastes like cauliflower.” Have a great weekend

Andy and John