Pre-School Follies. 01/09/26

Many moons ago, I was going to work after a week’s vacation. I got off the train and went to my favorite breakfast place for a toasted bagel with sesame seeds and a schmear and a cup of java. I was feeling relaxed until this producer got in line behind me and said, “Guess what, my kid just got into the gifted program.” He was talking about kindergarten. That is one kind of person. I shared this the next day with a friend on the train and she said, “I think my twins are the only two children in Irvington who aren’t in the gifted program.” God bless her. For the record those twins went on to attend Dartmouth, so there, Mr. Producer. Chat GPT said that “…trying to engineer a path from kindergarten to college can actually backfire.” No kidding. In my own experience, I was taken out of public school where I thrived and put into one of the most competitive, challenging private prep schools in the country where I floundered. And that’s putting it mildly. Nonetheless, new parents often think this way, especially in the age of data science spitting out likely outcomes like, “If your kid goes here, they’re more likely to get in there.” Testing preschoolers? I mean really? If they see a kid trying to knock down a tower of blocks instead of building it higher, does that mean the kid doesn’t have what it takes to get into the school? Or does it mean he/she just likes crashing big towers?

There was a famous case that supposedly predicted a child’s chance for future success. Stanford University took a bunch of 3 to 5 year olds in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s and gave them a marshmallow. Then said if they didn’t touch the marshmallow for 15 minutes they would get another marshmallow as a reward. The study concluded that the kids who were able to wait were going to be more successful than the ones who ate the marshmallow right away. They were able to “delay gratification.” Years later, the test was proven to be flawed. Why? Because kids from disadvantaged backgrounds were hungry whereas the more advantaged children were secure in knowing where their next meal was coming from. And as a completely unrelated aside, did you know if you put a couple marshmallows into a bag of brown sugar, it will keep the sugar from caking up? True.

In the coming weeks we’ll see how little Sammy fares, and know that none of it means a damn thing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to give my 4-year old granddaughter a marshmallow.

Have a great weekend,

Andy and John