Adventure Travel. 08/04/23

Hey, I get it. If you have a yearning for adventure travel, now’s the time. What, you’re gonna wait until you’re well into your 80’s to hike the Dolomites? I can imagine the tour leader saying, “Hey it’s a little steep and on the way down there’s a lot of loose rocks and pebbles, but just go down sideways and you’ll be fine. What’s the worst that can happen?” And chances are you’ll be fine. Except for the hip replacement, the odd cortisone shot to make up for the fact that your knee joint is bone-on-bone, the constant stiff neck (unfortunately that’s the only thing that’s constantly stiff) and the elevated cholesterol levels. In fact I don’t have to imagine it at all. I recently took the exact type of trip I described to Patagonia. John recently completed the 5 Boro Bike Tour, which I couldn't even do on an e-bike. If truth be told (and I told it to everybody on my adventure travel trip), I’d rather be at a beach resort with a spa, one or two golf courses, a couple of nice restaurants, a beachfront tiki bar (and a casino would be nice also). But that’s me.

So John and I sent Al and Joanne on an adventure travel trip to the Grand Canyon, where it’s either 115 degrees in the shade or snowing. My wife and I were supposed to join good friends on such a trip (turns out it was snowing) but had to postpone it, due to the aforementioned elevated cholesterol level which led to a stent placed in the heart of yours truly. So while I need the exercise provided in adventure travel, and also the food (it tends to be a lot of quinoa and fava beans), I still like the fancy resort. I just have to order turkey bacon with my eggs, hold the English muffin, hold the cream cheese, and go for the sushi, not the steak. Sigh.

And here’s the thing about adventure travel. It sounds great. You get lots of oohs and aaah from friends, but do you really want to ride a mule down the rim of the Grand Canyon? John and I have both done it, but the mules do stop every now and then, and their heads actually hang out over the rim of the Canyon. Like wayyyy over. Like there’s nothing between you and a horrible death besides this damned mule, who is walking on loose rocks very, very near the edge Just sayin’. Did I happen to mention it was very near the edge?

So at a certain point you have to put your foot down and do what makes you happy. Which is why I told my wife I’m through with adventure travel. And she responded by booking us on a trip to Bhutan in the Fall. When confronted with this reality, I said, “Yes dear.” Now to be fair, Bhutan does feature luxury amenities. Like vegetarian meals, yak butter tea, Buddhist Temples and archery tournaments. And hey we can always do the resort trip when we’re older, provided I don’t slip down the path with loose rocks.

Have a great weekend and go relax and get a message. You’re worth it.

Andy and John