One of the staff (an enormous staff of two) of The New 60 turned 66 this week. He is still firmly in his mid-60’s, or to borrow a phrase from Linda Kaplan, our former creative director, in his “incredibly late 50’s.” Hell, age is just a state of mind, right? Who cares about the number? That’s all it is, a number, along with a stiff neck, an achy breaky knee and the realization it’s a little tougher to lose the weight and … forget it. Forget we even mentioned it, okay?
This week we visit part of how it feels to be in your 60’s when you go for your physical. None of us wants to cop to it, but there is a little sense of underlying dread when we go, right? And that only increases when you get that friendly call from the doctor’s office wanting to discuss your test results. What could possibly go wrong? A couple years ago, that same New 60 staffer got a call from his doctor in the San Francisco airport. He picked up the phone, and the doctor said, “Hello, you have diabetes.” Turns out he was wrong and it was a one time blood sugar reading gone haywire but still. He is now my “former doctor.” All of which served to inspire this week’s first comic. That and the test results from last Friday that they still haven’t called about. But, as Alfred E. Newman (ya know, the guy who Trump thinks looks like Mayor Pete) once famously said, “What, me worry?”
Onto the second. Both John and Andy have copped to this one at some point in the past, including this past Tuesday night. If you are a sports fanatic or are married to one or live with one, here’s the deal. They are watching some sort of game in extra innings or double overtime or on tape delay. You can see their eyes are about to close, but they want to stay up to see how it ends. This is a completely unscientific study, but I maintain that less than one half of one per cent make it through the final out, basket, touchdown, etc. And yeah, we left out hockey on purpose ‘cause neither one of us follow it. Back to the subject, whatever it was. The only thing more pathetic than falling asleep before the ending is pretending you didn’t fall asleep before the ending. And THAT is the subject of our second comic.
See you next week with two new ones. And don’t ask us about the NBA Conference Finals, we were too busy sleeping before the final bucket.
The New 60