Why am I being followed? 10/18/18

You know how it is. Those annoying little ads that keep following you around every time you check your phone or iPad or laptop. For me it’s Golfballs.com, Mack Weldon underwear and t-shirts, Bombas socks and Russian Brides, oh wait a minute, forget that last one. Well today we (or rather Al’s son) explains how to get rid of them, the cookies, not the Russian Brides. The problem is I don’t understand a word of to get rid of cookies (John copied the instructions from the inter web and I’m not convinced he knows either.) But it’s creepy isn’t it? How do “they” know? I’ve had friends tell me they just said something to someone, and their phone picks it up and then ads for that thing suddenly appear on their computer screen. And by the way Golfballs.com, if you’re so smart you’d know to stop sending me ads in December. It’s too cold to play, damn it. If you were so smart, you’d know that.

Our other hot topic concerns, well, uhh, going to the bathroom. How you learn at a certain age to go before you leave (does that make any sense at all??) because if you don’t, you’ll regret it. I mean, that’s what people tell me. I won’t regret it because that’s not a problem for ME, but for most guys my age…

Okay, okay, it’s a problem for me too. It’s one of those little tricks nature plays on you. You’re fine when you get up to leave the restaurant, but then when you’re driving home, oh boy. And then you’ve got to park the car, and, umm, did we get the mail yet, oh it can wait until the morning and where the hell are my keys, and where’s the damn elevator already and oh my god, I can’t open the front door, and, you get the idea.

Point is, you’ve got to adjust as you go along and make allowances for things you can no longer do, like hold it in for an extra hour. When you’re young and growing up you adjust to all the new things you CAN do. Look mom, I can crawl, I can walk, I can run…and now, it’s the complete opposite. Although I am not giving up. I am going to run in one of those marathons yet. Just you wait.

Have a nice weekend and go Giants (even though they’re going nowhere)